Dear Men of America,
We’d like to draw your attention to a problem in the comedy community: We have no male groupies.
Guys, we know that despite what you say, you’re looking for crazy chicks who won’t demand a commitment. Well guess what? Female comedians inhabit the sweet spot between emotionally unavailable, emotionally disturbed and frequently drunk.
And if you’re worried about being emasculated by our success, don’t be! Because we’re women (so you know we can’t actually be funny), we’ll probably just end up toiling on the road for years, featuring for a real comedian. So that means we’ll be out of town a lot, too! We can’t drag you to the Farmer’s Market if we’re in Sioux Falls.
Chucklefucking has been dominated by young women with low self esteem and poor decision making skills for too long. Stand up and demand equality!